Its Not About You… Its About The Client…

In the space of great rapport, anything is possible” – Milton Erikson

When we know with certainty that it is all about the client we serve, then it is vital to build up a level of rapport to build the trust and responsiveness in the client that our words become their thoughts.
True rapport can be matched through a variety of things
– matching the angle of the spine
– mirroring blinking, breathing rate, tonality
– other body language such as drinking just after a client has had a sip of their water, arms gestures same when it is your turn to talk etc

When on a coaching call, however you have 55% less communication cues to utilise. Our communication is made up of 55% body language, 38% tonality and 7% words. When you become proficient at creating rapport through tonality and words, then you gain even more expertise as a coach.
Some of the keys to creating great rapport with phone coaching is firstly to assume a level of rapport. Get an agreement frame at the commencement of the session, three “yesses” from the client support them to create that connection of rapport quickly.
The next main key… is to listen and be present.
When coaching, LISTEN intently to the tonality and the words that your client uses. Focus on your client.
Listen to the language that is used, whether it is resourceful or unresourceful, at cause or at effect, in the positive or negative, big picture or detailed.
Notice the predicates they use (words that refer to certain representational systems). Eg- if your client says “I see what you mean, Im looking forward to that”… or “Im hearing you, that really resonates with me”… or ” I have a gut feeling about this” …. or “give me time to process and analyse the facts”- it allows you to know whether their preferred or dominant representational system is visual, auditory, kinaesthetic or auditory digital. Then you can match their preferred modality to build even greater rapport.
Rapport is a must for keeping it all about the client, because it rapidly builds a level of trust, makes the client comfortable to disclose with openness and means we are able to create transformation at a much faster rate. Rapport builds client confidence in the coaches skills for the current coaching session, and creates a reference point for future sessions with you as their coach.
Listening to the voice quality and tonality of the client will also assist you to create great rapport.
The biggest key of all is to coach from the heart space, be in the moment, and listen… The client has come to you to grow into living at cause and become the best they can be.

Prior to your coaching session, give yourself a few minutes to remind yourself who YOU need to BE to coach and create transformation. Then future pace yourself – go to the successful completion of the coaching session and see what you are seeing, hear what you are hearing, notice what you’re telling yourself and just notice how great that feels. You may choose to have a poster in front of you that reads “Be Present” or “In the Moment”… and reduce all distractions to ensure you can remain present for the coaching session.

After all, its all about the client 🙂


Getting Over Yourself – The Voice Inside Your Head

here is an NLP strategy that is great to self coach to get over the voice inside your head.

Ask yourself –
“is it your voice?
Does it sound like the voice you have on the outside?
Does it perhaps sound like your mothers voice or someone you know?
What exactly does the voice say?”

now turn up the volume and make it really loud…
“is it coming from the left or the right?”
notice the feelings you are experiencing now.

now, move the voice away from you and off into the distance and turn the sound right down.

Ask yourself… “did I ever hear somebody talk that I totally disbelieved or mistrusted or lied?”

As you listen to the voice – slowly change the tone of the voice that voice of someone you absolutely mistrust and do not believe.
Now move the voice around to the back of your head and push it back so it is further and further behind you.

Now, repeat hearing that old voice inside your head and change the tone to the untrustworthy voice, move it behind your head and push the voice further and further away..

repeat this process quickly three more times.

Now imagine ducks flying overhead in spotted boxer shorts, and take a deep breath and exhale.

recall that old voice you no longer trust and notice the change, now…